No Rhyme or Rhythm

Wowser.  I haven't posted since the beginning of the year.  I guess you can tell that my other two photography blogs are taking up my blog time.  (Since I'm a photographer I'll call that a good thing.)

I have like 10 minutes before I am suppose to leave for a yoga lesson.  There is like a hundred things I could probably do with my ten minutes, but today I decided to write down a bunch of random things that have crossed my brain in the last few weeks.  There is no rhyme or rhythm to this post... so I'm assuming I'll have a hard time titling it.  Here we go.

1. Have you seen Tiger Seals?  I mean seriously... these animals are sublime, awesome, superb, ridiculous all came to my mind right then.  I'm not sure if any of those adjectives really describe these sea creatures- but I bet if  you haven't seen one yet you're going to google it right now.

2. People need to roll their car windows down more.  Fresh air is good plus it just makes you feel more alive.  Roll your windows down and stop spoiling yourself with AC.  (You must also listen to your music loud if your windows are rolled down... unless you are playing like Rap or R&B then you have my permission to roll the windows back up and stay away from my truck.)

3. I heard something the other day- in the first five minutes of talking to a new person you can determine their values.  They will more than likely discuss or somehow pop-into the conversation what is important to them.  For instance if they talk about their kids, obviously the value family.  If they talk about their career then they really value their job.  Interesting, I thought.  What would your top three things be in a five minute conversation?  These are mine:
              1. God (I'll be the first to admit that one is not easy to throw in when talking to a new person.)
              2. My husband/dog/family
              3. Photography Career

4. Crap my 10 minutes is already up and I'm not done unleashing.  ...How was googling the seals?

5. Orbitz Strawberry Remix gum is better than Extra Dessert Delights Strawberry Shortcake.

6. I can drive for five hours straight (well, with a pee break) simply by listening to music.  I love making new "mixes" for road trips.  I went to La Grande this weekend and made a pretty hefty one called "Country Car Ride."  I won't list all the songs on the mix because I believe it's like 3+ hours worth of songs (and no that's not even close to all my country songs.)  I will rattle off a few new favorites I downloaded.... 1. "Over When It's Over" by Eric Church.  2. "Nashville With Out You" by Tim McGraw. 3. "Chillin' It" by Cole Swindell.  4. "I Wanna Be That Feeling" by Bucky Covington (his name is cool too.)  5. "Runnin' Out of Moonlight" by Randy Houser.  6. "Tip it Back" by Florida Georgia Line.  7. "Backwoods" by Justin Moore.  8. "Drivin' Around Song" by Colt Ford.

7. I'm pretty sure I was born in the wrong era (I probably should've been in my 20's-30's in the 60s-70s) and in the wrong part of the country (I should've been born in like Tennessee, Georgia or Texas.)

8. I love the outdoors.  I love it when I'm hiking.  I need to spend more time outdoors.  I really need to go on one of those crazy outdoor photography workshops.

9.  I wonder how Veterans and military people feel about how we celebrate Memorial Day and Veterans Day.  I actually went camping with two Marines over Memorial Day and we discussed it a little bit.  I know we don't celebrate it the proper way- but I also think it makes them proud that we have our freedom to celebrate however we want, even if it is just grilling hot dogs.

10. It's crazy to think about one decision or choice in your life would've put you on an entire different path.  That if you would have made one decision differently you might not be sitting where your sitting,  living in the state your living in or married to the guy your married to.  For the record I'm perfectly fine with all three- but it's crazy to think about "If I would've done this... where would I be?"  I often wonder what I'd be doing or where I'd be living if I would've become a white-water-rafting guide.

My time is REALLY up now.  Until next time, keep skipping.
Aubrie

Get Out Of My Head Jones!

"Keeping up with the Joneses."  It's a phrase we all know.  Unfortunately, lately, I feel like I know it to well.  Only it's a mind game with me... it's all in my head.

If you were to ask me if I cared what other people thought about me, I would tell you that I don't care.  I would tell you that I live my life how I believe I should (morals, values, religion, how I was raised, how I was educated, and past experiences produce how I "believe" I should live).  I would tell you that I am 100% happy with my life and I try not to compare my lives to others.

In all honesty, I know that's what I should say and I know that I shouldn't compare myself to others.  I know that I need to appreciate what I have and even be thankful for things I don't have.  (There are a lot of things to be thankful for that you DON'T have... like cancer and no family.)  The problem is that I know how I should feel and I know what to say, but do I believe it?

I've been constantly comparing parts of my life to other peoples lives.  I do it inside my head every day.  My photography business is the biggest culprit.  There are a million people who are professional photographers and there are millions of business.  I could sit all day and compare photography skill, business practices, prices and even what they are shooting with.  Quite frankly it drives me nuts.  It's not good, not at all.  Again, I KNOW that.

Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and all these social media outlets make me feel like I'm just checking in with the Joneses and comparing to see if what I'm doing that day is cooler than Mrs. Jones. Or if what I am making for dinner is healthier than what Mrs. Jones is doing... in her sparkling new kitchen, with her cute apron, her bleached white teeth, and the latest recipe from Sweet Paul magazine- in fact there is a photo of her on Instagram spreading a Demi-glaze on a succulent duck.  Dang!  I only made spaghetti.  I loose.

I know I should be happy with my spaghetti.  I used whole wheat pasta, venison Italian sausage that my husband made and store bought sauce.  What's wrong with that?  I know I should be happy that I have the funds to make spaghetti, I have the kitchen to cook it in and I even have a working digestive system to handle the load.  I KNOW!

How do you go from simply knowing to actually believing?  How do you let it all go?  How do you allow yourself to seriously. not. care. and to seriously. stop. comparing.  I feel like I have to live in a shack out in the middle of Montana with no TV or internet to get that feeling.

Don't even get me started on clothes.  I am constantly checking out what other women are wearing.  I keep thinking that I am out of style and my whole wardrobe needs to be burned.  So I take mental notes of what I see... okay that girl is wearing a longer shirt with leggings, boots and a scarf around her neck. Easy enough.  I try on the long shirt with leggings.  Crap!  It does not look the same.  It looks like I have no figure and it's extremely frumpy on me.  Maybe because that girl was 5 foot 9 and I'm... not! Scarfs?  Ya I think they are really cute- too bad it makes me look like I'm missing a very important piece of my body, my neck.

It could be worse.  I could be in complete denial and not be aware that I think this way.  I could be completely obsessed and have a credit card debt filled with dollars signs from boutiques and markets and spas.  I don't- Thank, God.  So I don't have the actual issue of physically trying to keep up with the Joneses.  It's just all in my head.  I've been trying to figure out a way to empty those thoughts in the trash can and have the garbage man haul them away tomorrow. (How convenient that tomorrow is my trash day.)  It's not happening though.  The thoughts are simply staying around- no matter how much I tell them their dumb, go away.

So- I don't have a solution, or a game plan or a goal.  I guess I simply wanted to write this out, acknowledge that I have a mental-Joneses-problem... and maybe, just maybe it will go away on it's own.  Hmmm. Suggestions, anyone?

Matthew 6:19-20 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

ALL or ONE

Is it better to have a lot of interests and to spread yourself thin or should you pick one (maybe two) things that intrigue you and run with it?

Rodeo's are fun.  I like feeling like I'm part of the crowd that wears real "shit-kickers" and literally shovels... well... I don't have to say the word twice.  I like to wear my own boots, listen to country music and pretend that I know how to bail hay or ride a horse.

Cooking is great.  I like to feed my belly with whatever my taste buds are craving.  I enjoy picking out different recipes and trying to make it look like the picture.  In fact I even want my dinner display to look like a magazine layout.  It never does.  It's really not realistic.  Magazine layouts are misleading.

I should develop a realistic magazine.  I would feature photos of a family at a beach... surrounded by A LOT of other people at the beach.  How often do you go to the beach, lake or river and you are completely by yourself? Like the serene gods were looking after you.  I'll also say in my magazine that it's okay to have a $1 ice cream cone at McDonald's.  They are a $1.  And they are good.  It's realistic.

I really want to write a novel.  One of those romance novels that when you read it you think... I could have wrote that.  Because, really, maybe you could... which is why I should try to.  I'm  horrible at writing.  Maybe I should take a writing class first.

I love wine.  I really love wine tasting.

I went kayaking and rock climbing for the first time this summer.  I really enjoyed both of these outdoor activities.  Should I add this to hiking, backpacking and camping?  Maybe I should actually go backpacking before I tack that on to the list.  Just because my husband did it does not mean I'm a backpacker.  I should go kayaking again soon.

I truly wish I could travel... a lot.  A lot more!  I want to do home swaps and ride bikes in Europe.  Seriously can I photograph a polar bear already?  Have you seen the Grand Canyon?  I haven't.

Yoga is fabulous for my body.  I dig it.  I should do it everyday.  I also should swim every day since I want to swim at Nationals in May.  I miss my bike.

I would like to listen to talk radio more.  Read the news.  Read more books.  I lovvve movies and games.  Maybe I should finish reading through the five magazines I have right now.

Should I even touch on Photography?  ...I feel like that is another blog in of itself.

Do you do it all?  Or do you do one very well?

At this time, I do it all... and I do it all in the ugliest of fashions.  But, I truly enjoy myself.

Skipping,
Aubrie

Spring Sucks.

It's like watching paint dry.


....Waiting.


...Waiting for the rain to stop. For the sun to peek through the clouds... and stay.  Waiting for the 40 degree days to turn into 75 degree days.  Waiting.


March, April, May- they are actually pretty brutal months here in Oregon.  Honestly Spring is probably the worst season in the Northwest, to me at least.  Fall is actually pretty nice, you're to that point where seeing the rain is refreshing, the colors change and that's always a sight to see and you look forward to comfy vests and sitting by the fireplace.  Winter actually has some excitement, a little snow, maybe some snowboarding and of course the holidays.  ...And then it hits. Spring.  I am sure in a lot of other wonderful places around the world Spring is great.  Here in the Northwest it basically means we sit by the window and watch the rain continue to drown our spirits.  We start to daydream...


I day dream of summer days.  If you could peek into my head you would see a thousand cliche "movie" clips.  You know the type of montages that show road trips, driving with a convertible along 101, spinning in circles with your lover on the beach, camping under the stars, and on and on I could go.  I daydream and listen to music that reminds me of the summer, a lot of country tunes.


"To this day when I hear that song
I see you standin' there on that lawn
Discount shades, store bought tan
Flip flops and cut-off jeans

Somewhere between that setting sun
I'm on fire and born to run
You looked at me and I was done
And we're, we're just getting started

I was singin' to you, you were singin' to me
I was so alive, never been more free
Fired up my daddy's lighter and we sang
Ooohh

Stayed there 'til they forced us out
And took the long way to your house
I can still hear the sound of you sayin' don't go

When I think about you, I think about 17
I think about my old jeep
I think about the stars in the sky
Funny how a melody sounds like a memory
Like the soundtrack to a July Saturday night
Springsteen" 

- "Springsteen" by Eric Church

I look forward to driving in my hot car, windows down because I have no air conditioner (actually, I prefer windows anyway).  I look forward to going to the beach and not having to wear a coat.  I look forward to camping...and sweating not shivering.  I look forward to the SUN!  Sunsets, sunrises.  Taking photos of sunsets and sunrises.  Oh God, I look forward to Rainer Cherries and when the vegetable/fruit tent opens up down the street.  Green beans straight out of the garden, BLT's with fresh tomatoes.  SUN TEA!  Sitting on my back porch with my black lab tanning his hide while I read.  I can't wait to play Frisbee.  Drink some cold white wine or check out a brewery and sit outside.  

It's painful.  Even if we get a very small taste of nice weather, here in Oregon we know that it won't officially stay until at least mid June...sometimes even July.  Considering that it is only March 15th... we have awhile to go.  *Sigh*  But when that summer hits, all these rainy days are so worth it.  Here in the Northwest we live through the rain for those three amazing months of perfect weather, awesome food, beautiful beaches, excellent hikes, tasty beer and wine and, believe it or not, SUN.  

I can't wait. 

Aubrie

Memory Lane

Sudden Memories.  It's funny how the smallest thing can set your mind into a 30-second memory rerun.  Maybe it's a song you just heard, something someone just said or even a stupid photo on pinterest.  I had a few memories pop up this week.

I recently had a conversation with my mom about my first car.  It was a 1981 Buick. A brown beast that ran on diesel gas and had a clock with a second hand.  It was plush though, the most comfortable car I've owned.  Our car conversation made me think of my high school best friends, Melissa and Jackie.  Since there was three of us we could never decide who would sit in the back.  (Yes, we were that tight that we did not want to be separated.)  So even though we all had our licenses we typically would ride in my car because we could fit three in the front seat.  Not only was there enough room and it was comfortable but there was three seat belts too.  I miss that car.  I miss our "notebook" we shared... basically one ongoing note to one another.  I miss Skittles.

Earlier in the week I saw a photo of a swing by water.  Just for a moment I went back to that one crazy day I had in high school where I decided to skip my stupid math class to go to the river with my friends. The guys had found a rope swing.  We spent just a quick hour or so swinging away, jumping into the river.  Of course we knew we were having fun... I mean we were skipping out on algebra.  I never knew how fond of a memory that day would end up being though.  I think about that rope swing often.

I can't think of Christy's last name.  ....Wait... Yoder!  It literally just came to me.  She popped into my head the other day because I saw a huge pile of undies.  I was a Freshman on the swim team.  Lucky for me I had been swimming since I was six so I was good and I was automatically on Varsity.  I had a Varsity locker with a Freshman sense of organization and cleanliness....or maybe laziness.  For morning practice I would show up in my sweats, change into my suit and leave the pair of underwear I was wearing on the top shelf.  I brought a clean pair of underwear to change into after swim practice.  Day after day this happened.  I never brought my "top-shelf" underwear home with me.  Eventually I had quite the stock of undies.  My dear friend Christy thought it would be hilarious to throw all my underwear out by the entry way into the school.  The entrance where just about EVERYONE came into the school building.  Christy and I were actually good friends, this was not some sort of Freshman initiation.  Of course I was embarrassed but the two of us died laughing, tears rolling down our eyes, as I walked around picking up every last pair of underwear.  By the time I was a Sophomore I had a different plan and my underwear came home with me every night.  

Today one of my girls came out of the locker room gushing about her first kiss.  I know what your thinking, I'm going to tell you about my first kiss.  Nah- my first kiss was in Kindergarten while I was playing "Cops and Robbers" with Brian.  (Okay, so I told you a little bit about my first kiss.)  I didn't think of my first kiss, or my 10th kiss or even my first kiss as a high school student.  No, for some reason the memory that rushed into my head was my first kiss with Tracy, my high school boyfriend from Junior year. It must have been the weather that triggered this memory.  I remember it had to be at least January in Indiana.  Or at least cold enough where there was snow on the ground.  We were at some sort of park... with a hill.  (Not a big hill, this is Indiana.)  We we're flirting, naturally.  And I just remember being pressed up against his car... his car that literally looked like a yellow egg.  We kissed.  It was a good kiss.

I guess all my memories right now are from High School.  It doesn't surprise me, I spend my afternoons with high school kids.  Sometimes I'm taken back at the thought that I'm...I'm like an adult now.  I am in charge of 17 kids in two swim lanes.  I tell them how to swim and that they shouldn't eat Chicken McNuggets before practice.  I get texts that explain they can't make it to practice because they went to Urgent Care for a knee problem.  I'm an adult.  I own a business.  People actually pay me money to document one of their biggest days of their life.  I'm an adult.  When did that happen?

Even though I'm an adult (which I still have to remind myself that I'm an adult even at a ripe age of 29) I will always have my memories.  They keep me young at heart.  Seriously, all I want to do is find that rope swing and have another jump.

Skipping,
Aubrie

5 Random Things You Did Not Need To Know

Hmmmm... I don't have a lot to say.  But I did want to say these 5 random things...

1. I don't understand why companies use extremely thin and tall models to show us clothes we should buy for ourselves.  Especially when most women are about 5'4-5'7.  Why can't we get models that are similar to our size so that we could actually tell if the clothes will look good on us or not.

2. I am feeling very crafty and DIY lately.  Of course I haven't done anything crafty yet... but I keep coming up with all these crazy ideas.  For instance- I want to redecorate my entire house using only things I currently own now or can find for free.  I blame Pinterest for this idea.

3. I have a very good feeling that I will be doing some type of photography project for 2012.  (Think back to 2010 with my "52 Weeks of Photography.)  I've had a lot of ideas... one of my ideas that keeps coming up is "85 Images with my 85mm."  We'll see what I come up with... but I am already looking forward to doing another project like that.  If you would like to check out a "recap" of my 52 Weeks I did in 2010 click here.

4. So you go on a diet... then you miss all your food and have a major cheating weekend/s in a row... then you miss the diet and can't wait to get back to eating rabbit food again.  Interesting how that works, yes?

5. Yoga!  Go to yoga,Aubrie. It's good for you.  In fact... go tomorrow at 8:00 AM.  Or ELSE!

Regrets & Randomness

So I am waiting for David Letterman's show tonight.  No, I don't typically do this.  However when both guests intrigue me are on one show than I guess I'll burn the midnight oil.  The first guest is purely for pleasure- Robert Pattinson.  Yes, I read all the Twilight books and I've seen all the movies.  But I also enjoy his music and all of his other movies as well.  Plus he's funny.  The second guest is Annie Leibovitz one of the most famous photographers of our time.  It will be very interesting to see what her and David (Ball State is his alma mater by the way) chat about.

Instead of sitting in front of the tube I thought I would waste my time else where.  It seems like only once in a great while I get the chance to simply play on the Internet.  You know, scan through pins, read blogs and post blogs (like this one). So that's exactly what I'm doing.  That Pinterest is addicting!

*******

So this is one of those posts that are random.  Just so you know.

I've had a few thoughts today.  Like... who watches Jerry Springer?  I mean, really?  I would like to meet that person who still watches that ridiculous show and....slap them.

*******

I had an ex boyfriend that once told me something about not having regrets.  I wish I could remember the exact "quote" he used, but I can't.  I wonder if he regrets breaking-up with me?  (ironic-humor for you.) Anyway I can't help to at least think about a few things that I regret. And I'm not talking about the type of regret that makes me sick to my stomach but I do wonder how my life would have changed if _________ fill in the blank.

______ Fill in the blank: I regret not swimming my senior year.  I was voted to be captain by EVERYONE and my coach made that perfectly clear to me.  Yet I decided that my swimming career was finished, probably because I started when I was six and my body was done.  Instead I was motivated by my softball team winning state my junior year...I sat on the bench for that game.  I was not going to sit on the bench for any game my senior year.  So my dad and I spent the winter pitching in a gym.  I have mixed feelings about my decision.  I probably should have fought through my senior year and swam... not for me, but for my team.  But I also had some bonding time with my dad that year.  I don't think the decision I made affected my future. I didn't do either sport in college so I'm pretty sure that "regret" had no affect on where I am today or where I could have been tomorrow.

_____ Fill in the blank:  The other regret I think about from time to time is moving to Portland, Oregon right out of college.  I had an internship at the Muncie Star Press as a photojournalist.  I did the internship to graduate.  What I should have probably done is sought out another internship...anywhere.  Most photojournalists have more than one internship and they move around a lot in the beginning of their career.  I moved. Once. To Oregon.  It sounds like I regret my move to Oregon and that couldn't be further from the truth.  I LOVE OREGON.  But I wonder if my photography career would look a lot different if I would have ventured into another internship.  The thing about this regret is I'm almost positive that it would have impacted my life and I would not be where I am today.  Which means I wouldn't be married to David.  And that thought in itself is enough to tell me that I shouldn't regret that decision at all.

*******

I want to come up with a new product to "display" wedding photos.  The journalist side of me wants to create some sort of publication that is all about the couple and their wedding day.  I'm thinking like a magazine-type layout.  With an actual word story and (of course) a lot of photographs.  A wedding-zine.  Hmm... I'll have to think it through.  Don't steal my idea now.  -Copyrighted!  lol

Skipping,
Aubrie